A couple weekends ago I had a breakdown of sorts. I know, not the most thrilling way to start a blog post. It sounds worse than what it is but it hit me out of the blue that everything I was doing wasn't working. Hi, I'm human.
I had been working at the hospital, sometimes full time, sometimes more, sometimes less. Hosting events, managing my Isagenix team and FB community, being president of my networking group and the list goes on and on. I don't know why I thought I was Superwoman, like I said, human. I was going through the motions doing what I thought I should but not really feeling any joy, just achieving and crossing things off my never ending to-do list. Ever just get in so deep that you can't see the forest from the trees, or however that saying goes? Yep, human. This was me. I knew things had to change and fast.
I've always struggled with having to do everything right, being perfect, and trying to make sure I met everyone’s standard. My dad is a perfectionist and the hardest worker I know so I’m sure I got a lot of it from him, the good and the bad. Human. Any other recovering over-achievers and perfectionist out there? I know you feel me.
As my mindset has changed over the last couple of years I have had this deep stirring in my soul to be so real and honest and raw. It’s probably the number one character trait I admire. It’s one of the things that attracted me to AJ, his belief in himself and strength and security in who he is.
Thankfully in the month of March I decided to hit pause. I've gotten a lot of responsibility off of my plate and taken a ton of pressure off of myself. It's kind of crazy because a lot of the weight I felt I had simply put on myself. You guessed it, human.
I committed to doing yoga and meditating daily this month and it's already helped me immensely.
Favorite apps btw - Calm app, Meditation Studio app (previously Gaiam meditation studio), and Down Dog app & Bulldog Yoga app for yoga at home. All of these are free or minimal cost.
I actually have open time on my calendar with nothing planned and I'm ok with that. Even after hitting pause I still have quite a few things going on that I'm super excited about and the best part is they are just that, exciting, not overwhelming. I'm enjoying working out, looking at my phone less, being more present at home and sleeping better.
I meditate then nag AJ about helping me clean, human.
I write in my gratitude journal about being thankful for my job then I have a meltdown because of night shift, human.
I use essential oils and Clorox wipes, human.
I only recycle if it's convenient, human.
I have been trying my entire life to be on time, human.
I share this so you know that we all struggle, we all have strengths and weaknesses. As I embrace the pause and the quiet there is a stirring in my soul saying it’s in our “being human” that our greatest strength is found, not our weakness. That not everything has to be perfect and all figured out. We are all human just trying to be a little bit better today than the day before.
I’m human AF and proud of it.
It feels good to be human!
I LOVE this feel good shirt from Bird Bee.
Use code NINELIVESCAT for 15% off all of your purchases and free shipping!
"People connect more with who you are, how you mess up, your hypothetical thoughts, your fears, your struggles, your breakthroughs and your pain. We are humans, and are not meant to be perfect in this life. Our goal here isn't to master everything, but to accept ourselves and love ourselves regardless. That does not mean, don't do the work to become better. Of course not. But realize that even if you spend 45 years with Pema Chodron, and feel like you can levitate out of your shoes, you're still human until you leave, and the world needs people who are Human AF."
- Peta Kelly from Earth is Hiring
Just finished this book and I'm obsessed with it!
All photos shot in our home by Aubrey, you da best! xoxo